Have you ever just had something hit you so hard...literally (well, actually figuratively) like a ton of bricks? I have...many times, but especially tonight (or rather, this morning). I mean, why else would a mommy of 7-month-old twinsies (who are both asleep) be awake at 2:00am, you know, when sleep is so hard to come by these last few months (not even taking into account pregnancy sleep woes)? Can I get a witness, anybody? Again, it has been a minute since I have shares...yada, yada, yada. I could give you the same old excuses every time I post what seems like my few-and-far-between blogs. However, I feel so strongly right now to put this out there...here it goes!
Our little family has been sick going on a week now. We made our second ER trip since the girls have been home; our blessed Nana has come to stay the week with us (don't get me started...I could blog for days on her virtue alone); we've missed work appointments; etc. I am sure many of you can attest to this, but it is SO very frustrating, especially for little miss Type A over here! But in the midst of it all, my precious Lord has given me a knock-you-down kind of revelation...1) SHUT UP and LISTEN, STEPHANIE! 2) PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST 3) CUT OUT THE DISTRACTIONS! I mean, He has been incredibly patient with me...um, my entire life, with my headstrong disobedience, but tonight, for whatever reason, it has become painstakingly clear that I have been forging my own path for so long that I have gotten ridiculously off course...which (full circle here) comes back to this little family of ours. I have let so many things (television shows, social media, etc.) take precedence over all of the most important things in my life...my relationship with Christ, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my daughters. It's funny how things seemingly so innocent can be such a vice for some...mine: Days of our Lives (not ashamed to admit it), Pretty Little Liars, Instagram, Facebook...the list could go on and on. All pretty innocent, right? Yet, when those things become the majority with which you fill yourself, the overflow isn't too pretty. God makes it very clear in Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (NIV) Could it be any clearer??? First of all, how do you miss the phrase: "ABOVE ALL ELSE"? You may not, but I sure do! He says "above ALL else." Second of all, He proceeds to say "EVERYTHING" you do flows from it. Wow! Now, do not get me wrong...all of my aforementioned vices can be perfectly fine in moderation, but when you let them consume your time and focus for as long as I have, then it can become a problem. It can weaken your spirit, strain your relationship with your loved ones, and get you distracted enough that the enemy can creep in and cause some damage. Only you can decide what you can handle, and please, know there is no judgment coming from over here. I just felt this on my heart so strongly to share tonight (this morning, HA!) because maybe, just maybe, there is someone else out there that has the same struggle as me. I am not saying that I am through with social media or those silly television shows, but what I am saying is that I am going to guard my heart a little more closely and do my best to stay in tune with what the Lord is speaking to me.
Thank you for joining our journey!
Stephanie
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
It's been a minute...
Well, as you learned from my last post, even the best laid plans go awry...this can even be applied to my plans for blogging and sharing our story. To be honest, motherhood has brought an entirely new set of time commitments that I never realized, so sitting down to blog with twinsies at home (yes, they are home!...I'll fill y'all in on our NICU stay when it is perhaps not so fresh) is a rather difficult task. In spite of those new challenges, I still have a yearning to share.
Today, I will include you on my quest to become a "Hands-Free Mama." You see, God has been dealing with me for months...no, make that years...on living a less distracted life. I believe it all started in the early years of Chris and my relationship...back at ole' Etowah High School. I have always been someone who sought my identity in the praises and recognition of others (ouch! the truth can hurt). While I am slowly, but surely now seeking that identity in Christ, this is something I have dealt with for most of my life. With that said, I joined teams and clubs; worked a few jobs; and basically, committed myself to roles and responsibilities that I felt gave me worth.
Then, my wise "boyfriend" asked: When are you going to stop being so busy and have free time?
My response: Hmmm...college, yes, college. I will have lots of free time in college because we are going to the University of Alabama, and it's just so BIG. I'll never be able to be involved in college like I am in high school.
Wrong! Before I'd barely moved into my dorm, I was headfirst in sorority formal recruitment, then SGA, then College of Education ambassadors, and it only snowballed from there. I would be busy from 7:00am-10:00pm most days with classes, meetings, work, etc...of course, my "man-praised" self soaked it all up, but I knew that something was missing, so did that wise boyfriend.
Wise boyfriend: Remember in high school when you said you would not be so busy in college? What happened to that? When are you going to slow down?
My response: Well...when I start teaching, that's all I will be able to do. There won't be so many opportunities to join clubs and what not, so yes, that's when I will slow down.
Wrong again! Immediately, I began coaching and sponsoring (in addition to lesson planning, grading, professionally developing), then I began advising, coordinating, counseling, supervising, and a few other verbs OUTSIDE of my work commitments. While I honestly, LOVED, every one of these things, my days and nights turned into now 6:00am-11:00pm ones more often than I would have liked OR more often than my family needed. But did I listen?
Wise husband, colleagues, family, and friends: Do you need to maybe slow down? Don't you think you're doing too much? What are you going to do when you have a baby (or babies in our case, ha!)? The list went on and on.
My response: No! I really love all of these roles, the people with whom I interact, etc. I mean, I'm tired, but, they NEED me, right?!?!
Three strikes...WRONG again! Truth be known...and again, I tell you the truth can hurt...we, as humans, are replaceable. If something were to happen to us, we could be replaced in our jobs, in our voluntary roles, etc. BUT, we cannot be replaced as daughters/sons, mothers/fathers, sisters/brothers, husbands/wives, and friends. We cannot be replaced in the path/life/plan that God created uniquely for us. Wow! Talk about an eye-opener. I started to come to this realization when I found out I was pregnant, but was still holding out planning to continue life as usual, THEN I found out we were having TWINS. I began to think, there is just no way to continue at this pace.
On December 16, 2014, I was admitted to the hospital and told that I would be on bed rest until the babies were born, which could have been another five or so WEEKS! I immediately panicked thinking...what about my benchmark tests at school...that basketball game on Friday...the Christmas services at church next week...family functions for the holidays! Didn't they know that this was the busiest time of my year? I had to be there...I NEEDED to be there for each of those things...WRONG! That night, my very sweet and very wise nurse gave me some hard truth (with my blessing). She said, Stephanie, God doesn't NEED you for anything (not any of those things you mentioned), BUT He does WANT you...so do all of those other with whom you play an irreplaceable role. Talk about a pride-buster...I realized I'd still been seeking my identity in others through my time commitments and responsibilities.
For YEARS, I have been living an overcommitted, distracted, wired life. Instead of seeking those roles and responsibilities that God had planned for me (Jeremiah 29:11), I was signing up for, volunteering for, committing to all of those things that I believed gave me value. I purchased this book, Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford (from Birmingham, AL) (http://www.handsfreemama.com/) months ago, but with this new irreplaceable role as "Mommy," I am now committed to trying out some of its principles.
Consider this my public declaration, I am going to TRY to become more of a "hands-free mama." While I am still committed to MANY of the same roles and responsibilities, I now am seeking Christ in how to manage those time commitments while putting first things first. Please, if you know me and love me, by all means, encourage my accountability in this new factor of our journey.
As always, thank you for embarking on our journey with us! Until next time...which I hope is not months ;)
Today, I will include you on my quest to become a "Hands-Free Mama." You see, God has been dealing with me for months...no, make that years...on living a less distracted life. I believe it all started in the early years of Chris and my relationship...back at ole' Etowah High School. I have always been someone who sought my identity in the praises and recognition of others (ouch! the truth can hurt). While I am slowly, but surely now seeking that identity in Christ, this is something I have dealt with for most of my life. With that said, I joined teams and clubs; worked a few jobs; and basically, committed myself to roles and responsibilities that I felt gave me worth.
Then, my wise "boyfriend" asked: When are you going to stop being so busy and have free time?
My response: Hmmm...college, yes, college. I will have lots of free time in college because we are going to the University of Alabama, and it's just so BIG. I'll never be able to be involved in college like I am in high school.
Wrong! Before I'd barely moved into my dorm, I was headfirst in sorority formal recruitment, then SGA, then College of Education ambassadors, and it only snowballed from there. I would be busy from 7:00am-10:00pm most days with classes, meetings, work, etc...of course, my "man-praised" self soaked it all up, but I knew that something was missing, so did that wise boyfriend.
Wise boyfriend: Remember in high school when you said you would not be so busy in college? What happened to that? When are you going to slow down?
My response: Well...when I start teaching, that's all I will be able to do. There won't be so many opportunities to join clubs and what not, so yes, that's when I will slow down.
Wrong again! Immediately, I began coaching and sponsoring (in addition to lesson planning, grading, professionally developing), then I began advising, coordinating, counseling, supervising, and a few other verbs OUTSIDE of my work commitments. While I honestly, LOVED, every one of these things, my days and nights turned into now 6:00am-11:00pm ones more often than I would have liked OR more often than my family needed. But did I listen?
Wise husband, colleagues, family, and friends: Do you need to maybe slow down? Don't you think you're doing too much? What are you going to do when you have a baby (or babies in our case, ha!)? The list went on and on.
My response: No! I really love all of these roles, the people with whom I interact, etc. I mean, I'm tired, but, they NEED me, right?!?!
Three strikes...WRONG again! Truth be known...and again, I tell you the truth can hurt...we, as humans, are replaceable. If something were to happen to us, we could be replaced in our jobs, in our voluntary roles, etc. BUT, we cannot be replaced as daughters/sons, mothers/fathers, sisters/brothers, husbands/wives, and friends. We cannot be replaced in the path/life/plan that God created uniquely for us. Wow! Talk about an eye-opener. I started to come to this realization when I found out I was pregnant, but was still holding out planning to continue life as usual, THEN I found out we were having TWINS. I began to think, there is just no way to continue at this pace.
On December 16, 2014, I was admitted to the hospital and told that I would be on bed rest until the babies were born, which could have been another five or so WEEKS! I immediately panicked thinking...what about my benchmark tests at school...that basketball game on Friday...the Christmas services at church next week...family functions for the holidays! Didn't they know that this was the busiest time of my year? I had to be there...I NEEDED to be there for each of those things...WRONG! That night, my very sweet and very wise nurse gave me some hard truth (with my blessing). She said, Stephanie, God doesn't NEED you for anything (not any of those things you mentioned), BUT He does WANT you...so do all of those other with whom you play an irreplaceable role. Talk about a pride-buster...I realized I'd still been seeking my identity in others through my time commitments and responsibilities.
For YEARS, I have been living an overcommitted, distracted, wired life. Instead of seeking those roles and responsibilities that God had planned for me (Jeremiah 29:11), I was signing up for, volunteering for, committing to all of those things that I believed gave me value. I purchased this book, Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford (from Birmingham, AL) (http://www.handsfreemama.com/) months ago, but with this new irreplaceable role as "Mommy," I am now committed to trying out some of its principles.
Consider this my public declaration, I am going to TRY to become more of a "hands-free mama." While I am still committed to MANY of the same roles and responsibilities, I now am seeking Christ in how to manage those time commitments while putting first things first. Please, if you know me and love me, by all means, encourage my accountability in this new factor of our journey.
As always, thank you for embarking on our journey with us! Until next time...which I hope is not months ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)